Welcome back to the blog friends! To start the year off Travis is going to share the top ten reasons he loves his marriage. I hope you enjoy the beautiful picture that he paints of his marriage.
To celebrate the new year I have spent time thinking and, yes, writing about my marriage. Here are the top ten reasons I love it.
1.) Two brains, one memory
My college roommate used to speak of seasons. He had an intuition about the short-term nature of most relationships. Friendships come and go, he would say. So do jobs. So do houses. Learn to live intentionally within the scope of seasons. Well, if marriage is a season, it’s a long one. I love the idea of sharing a lifetime with my wife Cori.
I love that when I look back in thirty years I will be able to say, “Remember when…?” to just about any moment and have Cori answer yes. It feels wonderful to be known this way. Even the memories where I need her to head up the
2.) Counter Narcissism Patrol
Twenty-six years I have been on this planet. During the last three, my married years, I have arrived at an ugly truth: A vein of narcissism courses through my whole body. My wife doesn’t rub it in my face, but living with her every day I just see it. I realize that my actions have serious and profound consequences on at least one person. When I chose to be selfish my wife is forced to bear the cost.
This will be a shock to most people, but I didn’t just become selfish three years ago. I’m afraid I have been that way since day one. What marrying Cori has done for me is provide accountability. By just being around me all the time she acts like a cop to my joy stealing ways. And that’s great news, because time and accountability are not all we share. Being married means I have a
3.) Constant Cosigner
What’s hers is mine. What’s mine is hers. Bank accounts. Meals. Houses. Cars. Pay checks. Children. Grandchildren. Joys. Struggles. Everything. We stamp our names on life together.
It’s a great feeling to share everything I have with Cori. Marriage at its best is embracing the paradox that I own both nothing and everything at the same time. And when I get far too excited about something, she gives me
4.) Cortisone on the Itch of Ambition
By nature I’m ambitious, and I do not say this to my credit. While there have been times when ambition has served me well, there have been equally as many if not more times when I could have been better served with a smaller dose.
There’s something about being married to Cori that keeps my ambition in balance. She is level-headed and cautious. I am much more willing to leap without looking. The two of us together have been able to make some pretty good decisions through these first few years. And that’s helpful, because when I married Cori I put
5.) Tape Over the Reset Button
Etched in Hebrew on my wedding ring is the following phrase: “Where you go I will go.” It’s not pretty poetry. It’s an oath. It’s a till-death promise. It’s saying, “Wherever you go, that’s where I’m going. Until one of us dies.”
Not everyone is raised in a home where divorce is not an option. But I was. So was my wife. Our parents collectively have over sixty years of committed marriage under their belt. Of course, one thing that makes this commitment last is
6.) Flirting
Few emotions in life are more powerful than genuine affection between husband and wife. I love the way my wife and I show affection for each other. For me it’s chasing her around the room and pouncing with kisses. For her it’s snuggling up or pouting playfully. Without doubt this is a great joy! There is no one in the world who shows me affection the way my wife does. And I chase only one woman armed with kisses. It’s beautiful and satisfying to demonstrate genuine affection to someone. It’s a great benefit to marriage. And it’s also the perfect primer for
7.) Whoopi
Yes, that’s what we call it. And no, I could not conceive of a top-ten list of marriage without this amazing component. Men and women are both designed for sex, but men in general have a turbo-charged libido. How great it is to be married and to share a beautiful, intimate act with the one I love more than anyone in the world. And sometimes, when I’m lucky, this act leads to
8.) Baby-Making
We have two babies in the proverbial oven, but honestly we desire for more. Children are the fruit of marriage. They are the tangible evidence that God is a miracle-worker. And we are blessed to have them in our lives. Marriage is the perfect platform upon which to build a happy family. It won’t be easy, but I cannot imagine raising kids without a partner. My wife is that partner. Together we are building a
9.) Platform for Legacy
By legacy I do not mean fame or notoriety. I mean to say that marriage grounds me like singleness never did. And through this grounding I can by God’s grace slowly become the kind of man – the kind of husband – the kind of father – who leaves behind something valuable. Of course, there is nothing more valuable than an
10.) Ever-Fresh Gospel Perspective
God is the reason I am married to such an amazing woman. By his grace alone have I been given this gift. I did nothing – NOTHING – to deserve Cori. I am a sinner, not a saint.
Yet she is mine, and I am hers. We are together, bonded, as it were, at the hip. How amazing is the God I serve to give me such a woman. She is a potent reminder of all I am in Christ.
Scripture says God gave marriage to the world in order that we might better understand what his love for us is like. He loves us deeply. He is committed to us. He never leaves or forsakes us. Above all else I am happy to be married to Cori because through our marriage I understand more fully the way God loves me.
I think this article is wonderful because Travis highlights things he is certainly grateful for in his marriage.
This year my resolution is to be more grateful. I think listing things that I am grateful for will be a good way to cultivate thankfulness.
Remember Ann Voskamp? She said, “When gratitude is bound by circumstances, lives are bound to bitterness.” I think what she is saying is that if being thankful depends on our circumstances, we most likely will focus on what we don’t have rather than what we do have. Every Monday she continues writing a list of well over 1000 things that she is grateful for. I too will be writing my own list on Mondays.
Even though marriage can be a hard and difficult thing, there are always things to be grateful for. Join in and leave a comment listing the top ten reasons you love marriage.
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Here are my top ten reasons I love marriage.
1.) B.J. demonstrates God’s forgiveness and acceptance to me in a very real way.
2.) Marriage is a safe place for me to be weak.
3.) Marriage is a reason for me to be strong.
4.) Marriage is a tool in God’s hand as He chips away at my selfishness.
5.) Marriage has been a thing I can’t handle, making me depend on God.
6.) I have a partner in B.J. and we are certainly better together.
7.) Marriage is a big fat challenge… and boy do I love a challenge.
8.) With B.J., I am constantly learning, from politics, to money management, to college football, to theology.
9.) It’s fun and I always have a date.
10.) Marriage teaches me to be where I am.
Geez, the list could go on and on. Just thinking about these things had made me very grateful for B.J. this morning. I think I’ll go make him an egg sandwich….. :)